A new beginning in life...

Your smile, your words, and your pursuation has touched my heart so deeply,, i might be a taking a wrong move,, but one thing for sure,, having feelings for you is one thing that i will never regret in my current life..

It started with a small crush over you and grew into admiration and soon,, i feel affection for you and hoping to care for you everyday without any hesitation. It feels that you are someone that can help me through life and help me stand up once again with full optimism inside me,, BUT i never want you to pity me.. You teach me how to overcome every situation and asked me to pray and just TRUST.. You helped me out from the black hole and help me understand that no one's life is perfect.. I just need to be thankful to what i already have and what will be given to me.. You taught me to face every problem with a smile and you reminded me that no one can change anyone else,, all you gotta do is change yourself and other will change with changes in you..

Before, life was never easy for me and it got worse everytime.. I never found solutions to what i was facing,, i tried all alternatives but never really came out of the situation because i was still thinking negatively and that i never reallie believe in miracles. But when you step into my life, u taught me to think positive because in every thing there is the positive and the negative side (YIN YANG),, just see which would you like to invite into your life. When you start thinking positively, you'll gain advantages and miracles soon appears one by one.. N now,, its just up to you how to continue this path by your own..

Now you made me mine and lock my heart into yours, wishing n hoping our path will be smooth and we will stay long to discover more "PERFECT" path for us to walk.. Thank you for responding and thank you for making me yours.. I might not be perfect but i'll sure be the best for you.. =) 16810<3

Little of everything make something BIG..

Two months ago i was DOWN.. Feeling that a new life will never occur,, however GOD leads me into a new journey of my life.. Many things happened both good and bad,, and in the end,, i gotta decide my next step to a new life..

He once ruined me, he once stepped on me and he once gave me a big feeling of trauma,, but i overcame it with the help of GOD..

The day GOD showed me to you,, indirectly,, was the day that i know my life would change in one or the other way.. By the time we got to know each other, plans were made and it was a challenge to be with you..

My path were never easy to finally to be with you.. Going through the process was what made it feel so precious to be with you.. We might come from the same background and have lil' of everything,, but when we share things,, it made something BIG for both of us.. Learning and analyzing our lives has helped both of us to understand what life is meant to be..

You taught me to love and to give,, you taught me to be positive and optimist,, you taught me to trust and to cherish what i have and what is given to me.. You helped me out of my nightmare and for that i love you just the way you are..

Prayers for both of us always come when i pray to GOD,, hoping and trusting that GOD will give us the best for us now and until forever.. <3

Lesson in life...

Lettin' someone you love is never easy.. Your family, friends, and also other people you love.. Some people never realized how much someone can really mean to them until they lose it,, but in other cases, after lettin'someone go, it means a new life for them..

A friend once told me that life on earth will never be easy,, problems everywhere and people tend to get hurt now and then.. The earth is in the middle of Heaven and Hell.. There is 100% of HEAVEN above the earth, and 100% of HELL below the earth.. And in the earth itself,consists of 50% HEAVEN and 50% HELL.. Thus, everyone livin in this world will experienced 50% Heaven and 50% Hell..

Recently i have just lost someone i love.. Many people says that he is not meant for me,, I deserve someone better.. But there were many things we've been throgh together and made me love him more.. He taught me a lot about life,, and showed me the world.. Once he said that he never wanna be apart and hope the relationship will last long.. i believed him,, as i thought that he is in his 20's and should be able to think more mature.. But everything ended up in dissapointment.. He left me with some logical reason but later on i found out that he is soooo not mature. In times i regret beign with him,, but at other times, i don't.. It was just lately that i realized i should not regret any decision i made.. coz it happened already..

It was just yesterday i found out that he was after a new girl.. Beign near him for 2 months is not a short period of time and i know some of his personality.. Out of my mind i came up to the girl and introduced myself.. Got her number and i gave it to him.. Even though deep inside it hurts badly, and never in life i would do this, but at least now i know he got someone better than me. And now,, my work is done..

Since the first time i hooked up with a guy, i neva wanna let the guy be with a "BAD" girl after breakin' up with me.. And if that guy turn "BAD", i will blame myself.. Coz i feel that it is because of me that he become like that.. I want him to be better in life even after breakin' up with me.. Many people called me stupid, coz he doesn't even care about me anymore, but i still do.. But that's my way to express my love.. =)

Life will never be as easy as turning your palm.. And as time pass, you'll just need to experience more and learn more.. Hope you'll have a good life ahead... (dedicated to all my ex-boys)

18.04.2010

Tak pernah sekalipun dalam hidupku menyangka bahwa semua itu akan berjalan seperti itu.. Saat pertama kita bertemu, ada getaran yang tak ku sadari.. Ku kira itu hanyalah perasaan sesaat yang akan lenyap seiring jalannya waktu.. Kau mendekatkan diri di saat yang tepat, di saat aku sedang kalbu dan kesepian.. Kau mengisi kekosongan dihatiku.. Hari-hari kita lewati bersama; canda, tawa selalu menghiasi hari kita.. Kita makin dekat, walaupun tak pernah mengatakan cinta, kita tak pernah mengelak kalau cinta sudah tumbuh dalam perasaan kita masing-masing.. Perasaan yang tak pernah kita sadari sebelumnya.. Semakin hari cinta itu semakin kuat dan kehangatan cintamu membuat hidup-ku lebih cerah.. Banyak hal kau ajarkan kepada-ku, hal-hal yang tak pernah ku sadari dan tak pernah ingin ku dengar sebelum-nya,, namun kau buka mata ku dengan setiap kata yang keluar dari mulut-mu.. Kau dewasa dan mengerti arti hidup.. Aku terkesan dengan setiap ucapanmu,, aku senang dan bersyukur karna telah mengenalmu.. Tapi tidak ada hal di dunia ini yang kekal,, hubungan kita terpaksa berhenti sampai disini.. Diriku sadar bahwa aku bukanlah manusia yang sempurna, mungkin banyak kesalahan telah ku perbuat yang menyakiti dirimu.. Maafkanlah diriku ini.. Namun ingin ku katakan bahwa kaulah malaikat yang dikirimkan TUHAN untukku,, bukan aku malaikat yang dikirimkanNYA untukmu...

Waktu yang kita lewati memanglah singkat, namun itu waktu2 yang sangat berarti untuk diriku.. Setiap detik sangatlah berarti untuk diriku.. Terima Kasih 'DINO' untuk semua kasih, sayang, cinta, pengertian, dan juga pelajaran yang telah kau berikan untukku..

Ku berharap kau akan menjadi orang yang lebih baik untuk dirimu dan juga untuk keluargamu.. Aku akan slalu mendoakanmu.. Semoga suatu saat nanti, TUHAN mengijinkan kita untuk dekat kembali.. Amin...

Karena Ku Sayang Kau...

seandainya kau ada disini denganku
mungkin ’ku tak sendiri
bayanganmu yg selalu menemaniku
hiasi malam sepiku
kuingin bersama dirimu

reff: kutak akan pernah berpaling darimu
walau kini kau jauh dariku
‘kan slalu kunanti
karena kusayang kamu

hati ini selalu memanggil namamu
dengarlah melatiku
kuberjanji hanyalah untukmu cintaku
takkan pernah ada yg lain

adakah rindu di hatimu
seperti rindu yg kurasa
sanggupkah kuterus terlena
tanpamu di sisiku
kukan selalu menantimu

Lagu yang seharusnya berkesan dalam hidupku... Tapi apa yang sudah lewat, tidaklah bisa ditemukan lagi.. Sekarang aku hanya bisa berharap untuk kesempatan kedua.. Waktu adalah musuh manusia terbesar, waktu kita tidaklah banyak dan tidak akan kembali lagi.. Jadi gunakanlah waktu dengan baik.. Jika memang menurut-mu itu benar, lakukanlah,, Karena penyesalan lebih sakit daripada penolakan.. Jangan takut dengan kesalahan yang akan kita perbuat, karena kita adalah tempat salah dan dosa, tidak ada manusia yang sempurna.. Tapi perlu kita ingat bahwa semua keputusan kita ada konsekuensi-nya,, jadi berpikirlah dengan mateng2 sebelum membuat keputusan..