a Letter for LOVE...

Dear LOVE..

I have been tested by you a thousand times, I have played by you a million times but I have felt happy because of you a trillion times. No matter how much you hurt me, deep down inside me, you have grown rapidly.

A few days back I was disturbed by a thought of how to let your love ones go.. As in temporarily go, and permanently leave you. Will I be able to overcome my feelings? Will I have the strength to even accept the reality? Until now, I have not found the perfect answer, the answer that would help me through life, the answer that will build my inner peace and life stability. All these time, breaking up hurts, it'll last long but when there is a replacement, then the pain will disappear instantly. The fact that these relationship didn't last long could be the reason why I could get a new replacement for the old one.

When those questions popped to my head, there are several loved ones I take into account. First were my parents, second was my boyfriend and third was my other family members.. All these years, I never cherish what I got, I have always been thinking about how I feel and who I am and what I want.. But I never looked into what I need and what I already have.

At the same time I was disturbed by a feeling of jealousy, and negative thoughts. I tried to look for answers of how I really feel and what I really want right now.. I couldn't find the answers to it. I thought that my feelings were killed by the anger and jealousy I felt temporarily...

However, this morning I felt something totally different.. I was fully conscious and there in front of me was the body of one of my love ones, he was sleeping so peacefully, so calm and so happy. It seems that there was no thoughts, no burden, no sadness and no pain. I know that I might not be able to get another moment like this, therefore I cherish THE moment.. When I left him sleeping there, it strikes my mind that I love him.. I want to be with him.. I need him.. I am where I am because he is there.. Before I left, I told him I love him.. as many times as possible.. because there might not be another chance for you to say it, coz we never know what will happen in the next second you move.

Apparently that was the first time I really see the prettiness of love.. And as much as I could choose, I don't want to erase that memory from my head.. ^^

Thank you love for all the lesson you've taught me through all these relationships.. I cherish each and every one of it; from the past or for the future.. But I will greatly cherish the one I have now...

I love you Bjorn Chai Kai Wei!!!

Life as it is

Sometimes i still wonder how we fall asleep at night and wake up in the morning..
Sonetimes i wonder how it really feels to be asleep..
What we do and what we look like during our sleep..
How is sleeping different from resting in peace forever..
Why do people sleep temporarily and why some sleep permanently..

Whatever the reason is, I am thankful that i still have the chance of opening my eyes this morning..
Waking up to be held in the arms of someone you love..
Makes me feel that there is someone here who still loves me and want me..
Holding him back makes me feel that he will be the reason i live my life today..
Observing your sleep, makes me think how lucky i am to be by your side, being with you and still be able to see you.. :)

Many things in life are unpredictable.. Cherish every moment you have coz you'll never know when life us going to take you..